Robert Butler:
“When we talk about old age, each of us is talking about his or her own future. We must ask ourselves if we are willing to settle for mere survival when so much more is possible.”
A personal note.
In 2022, I had my 75th birthday. The web site Living to 100 suggests I may live to age 96. If that proves to be accurate, that’s almost 21 years I have not yet seriously thought about.
It’s time to start thinking about it. I encourage you to do the same. You may need to begin by overcoming some resistance.
Resistance – Why many of us don’t like to think about, or talk about, growing older.
We all have a strong need to maintain our independence and dignity.
We spend more time looking backwards in our lives than we do looking forwards.
We may have poor relationships with some family members and friends.
We refuse to see the need for preparing for growing older, or we think of it as low priority.
We cannot imagine ourselves as “impaired” – whether physical, mental, or both.
We are not willing to share our values, expectations, and needs with prospective caregivers.
We are not willing to consider possible future emergencies and to plan for them should they occur.
We desire to keep our financial information private due to possible embarrassment or shame.
We fear burdening loved ones, facing push-back from family members, or offending those not called on for specific roles.
Realities – A few unpleasant facts about growing older.
One out of three adults over age 85 will develop dementia Cognitive Impairment. Think about all the decisions you make now on a daily basis and ask yourself if you would be comfortable turning them all over to a person aged 85 or 90.
Nearly 40% of US adults aged 55 and over do not have a living spouse or partner.
Your physical and mental capabilities will decline. And your judgment will be affected.
Unexpected and unwanted events will happen.
You will need help from others, and some may be unable or unwilling to help.
The quality of your later years will depend, in part, on your financial circumstances.
Distinguishing between things you can change and cannot change – Changing your way of thinking about planning and growing older.
Have a plan – Having a plan can give you, and your family members, peace and security.
Unexpected and unwanted events will occur, but you will be better able to deal with them.
You can retain some or total financial control and avoid unwanted outcomes.
Decisions can be made easier for family members should they need to make them for you.
Uncertainties and confusion within families about what you want can be minimized or eliminated.
Putting a plan into action.
Make sure you have the right documents signed and notarized Important Documents You Should Have.
Check out the Personal Affairs Organizer.
Start planning earlier rather than later, and review and update your plan every 5 years or earlier should there be an intervening unexpected event. If your health is good, I recommend starting this process at age 70. If your health is less than good, start earlier. Ask important questions like “What would have to happen to force me (or us) to move from our current residence to another residence?”
If you don’t have a detailed analysis of your current and projected future financial outlook including income, expenses, inflation and investment return assumptions, I recommend you prepare one. I will email you a template for one – Lifetime Financial Roadmaps if you request one by sending me an email using the Contact link on the top of the homepage.
Start developing your network of professionals. You likely already have doctors, specialists, and a dentist, but you probably don’t have a nutritionist. Think about getting one, as your family doctor is unlikely to be trained in nutrition. And expect to be continually bombarded with changing and misleading information on this subject in the media.
If you don’t have a good financial planner, consider getting one How to Choose and Work With a Financial Adviser who is experienced with seniors.
You might be surprised to learn that many people who have been financially responsible during their working years have a lot of trouble reversing their thinking in their retirement years. The result is they end up with more money than they started with when they retired, forgetting that money is a means to an end, not an end in and of itself.
Make sure you discuss your plans with your primary care doctor. He or she can advise you as to whether you are being realistic about your assumptions of your future health.
Don’t neglect building your broader network of people: housecleaning, lawn and yard maintenance, tradespeople, and a handyman (or woman). By now you hopefully have a trusted family member or friend; you will need this person in the future as a sounding board. And as a friend.
Driving. This will eventually be a problem. The eventual availability of AVs (autonomous vehicles) may be of great benefit to seniors who have found it necessary to give up driving. Trials of these vehicles are underway in several countries. Remember that the location of your residence will play a big role in your access to a number of things you formerly took for granted.
Hearing. Have it tested on a regular basis. Hearing loss is gradual and frequently undetected by the person undergoing the loss.
Loss of vision cuts you off from the world, loss of hearing cuts you off from people. And the latter is suspected of being increasingly linked to loss of cognitive abilities. When you arrange to take a hearing test, whether online or in person, make sure it has a background noise component.
I know quite a few seniors who insist an audiologist told them their hearing was good who, when put in an environment with background noise, have great difficulty following conversations.
Stuff. Redefine your relationships to your “stuff”. Start getting rid of all the stuff you’ve accumulated over the years that’s under the house, in the attic, or in closets. Set an annual goal for this. Your surviving family members will appreciate it. And should you need to move, it will be a lot easier.
Ask anyone in their 70s or 80s who has had to move whether they wish they had done this earlier, over a period of time, when they had more energy and better mental focus.
Some resources, one free, one paid
Area Agency on Aging (AAA). Area Agencies on Aging is a network of over 600 non-profit organizations nationwide. They serve the elderly population (60+) of their local areas. Most agencies serve a specific geographic area of several neighboring counties. A few offer services statewide. This is especially true in smaller or less densely populated states. All AAAs receive federal funding under the Older Americans Act. And most supplement that funding with additional state and local revenues. This is a free service. Think of it as a gateway to learn about what services are available to you as you grow older.
Aging Life Care. An Aging Life Care Professional, sometimes called a geriatric case manager, is a health and human services specialist who acts as a guide and advocate for families who are caring for older relatives or disabled adults. The Aging Life Care Professional is educated and experienced in fields related to Aging Life Care management including counseling, gerontology, mental health, nursing, occupational therapy, physical therapy, psychology, and social work. This is a priced service usually not covered by insurance or Medicare. This is an especially valuable service for elderly people who do not have local family members living near them.
Summary
Thinking through the content of this post is not something most of us want to do. But there is one thing everyone needs to keep in mind – the time to do it is when you are in full possession of all your faculties. Waiting increases the chances that other people will make decisions for you. We take out various types of insurance to guard against unexpected events. Why not apply the same reasoning to the remaining years of your life?